I miss you.
I haven't been writing in a long time, primarily because there's not much to say.
I still work full-time at a job I love, I am still married to my best friend, and I am still totally inexplicably infertile.
It could be easy to be down on myself during such a seemingly stagnant period of my life, and while I do have my days where I feel utter frustration at my lack of progression, I'm also totally loving the peace I have recently been able to reach.
Don't get me wrong--I still want a family.
I still want to be a mother with every crumb of my soul.
But I'm on the cusp of turning 26 years old, and while I've been told (for years) to just "enjoy" this time alone with my husband, I feel like I'm just now finally starting to do that.
Maybe it's the financial (semi)stability.
Maybe it's the sense of permanence I feel with my husband or my friends or my family.
Or maybe this peace simply comes from within, from letting go of all of the things I can't control.
Maybe it's an internal thing that just happens when you're staring your late twenties in the face.
I don't know, guys.
This is my first try at life.
But whatever the reason, I'm so so glad that this peace is here with me.
I love this unpredictable boy and the joy he brings me every single day.
I love my imperfectly perfect body.
I love this crazy, chaotic life.
Maybe one day I'll have a baby.
Maybe one day I'll adopt one.
Maybe I won't.
The funny thing about life is that you never really know what's going to happen next, so you really have no other choice but to embrace the now and hope for the best.
And isn't that all that anyone really needs? Right now?
Happy Tuesday, my friends.
XOXO,
Bryn
