I'm feeling really overwhelmed with everything going on right now and want to talk about all of my upcoming events! I am going to map it out so that I can figure it out a little bit better.
April 18-22: pre-finals week
I have to write a 2-page paper by Monday, a 5-page paper by Tuesday, a 7-page paper by Thursday, increments of my final for my editing class, and my final for my professional considerations class. I know I really should be doing homework right now, but I can't wrap my head around it until I've got my schedule made. I also have class every morning and work every afternoon until at least 5:30.
April 22 or 23: my endowment
I'm going to the temple for the first time to take out my endowments! I am a little nervous about wearing garments and what all will happen inside of the temple, since I have no idea what goes on inside. I'm not worried about the commitment, I'm just nervous about the changes it will make to my life. . . I have a hard time with change. I need to make my appointment tomorrow so I can invite my grandparents and plan for it.
April 23: Nina's baby shower
I am throwing a baby shower for my best friend Nina! I'm super excited about it, and I'm sure it'll look nice and be fun, but I am a little worried about planning everything and trying to take it all on by myself. I guess I'm most worried about this because I know that I'm probably going to have to do most of the preparations the day of the shower, and my in-laws will be in town, so my house will also have to be presentable. All I really need to worry about is food, decorations, and a present.
April 25-27: finals/last days at Adventure Time
I need to take finals this week on Critical Intro to Lit, British Lit, Shakespeare, and Editing. These will all be done in the mornings, and these are also my last few days of work at the preschool! I'm going to try and get lesson plans ready for the substitute teachers, and I need to come to terms with the fact that the babies I've worked with since August are not going to be mine anymore! I feel so guilty about leaving them, but this is where my life is heading right now, and there's nothing else I can really do about that. I'm just hoping I can get all of the plans written out and ready for subs so that my kiddos will have a sense of continuity.
Sometime before April 28: dress shopping
I need to find a cute white dress for pictures at the Bountiful Temple on April 28 after our sealing! I want to check out the cute boutiques around Provo, but I need to delegate time for it. If I can get most of my papers done soon, I can try to find my dress sometime this week, but I'm still not wearing garments yet and am not totally sure about how my clothes need to fit.
April 28: my sealing/family pictures/packing
I still have to figure out what kind of hair I'm going to try to pull off for the big day! This is also our last day before our trip, so we need to get all of our things together for California and get Mollie's things together for her stay in Manila at Nina's parents' ranch. I know she's going to love it there, but I feel so bad about leaving her while I go to Hawaii. . . Maybe it's just me, but I feel like she knows it's coming.
April 29-May 16: roadtrip
We will be all over the place on the BMW!
May 17-May 31: moving back to the basement
Yay for unpacking, packing, laundry, and trying to soak up our last few days together.
June 8: Hawaii
So, I'm sure there are more things that need to be on here, but I'm sure I need to be getting busy now with homework! Maybe after all of the craziness, I will put some pictures up from our trip! I hope!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Baby Steps
That last post was written when I was feeling discouraged, so I'd like to rave about all of the wonderful things going on right now.
Joshua and I both received our Temple Recommends today! I am so excited! This means that (depending upon which schedule we choose) I will be endowed either by next Saturday or the 23rd. I'm a little nervous about going through the temple for the first time, but I am sure that this is just the beginning of something so hugely amazing that I can't even comprehend it. I am so grateful for the atonement and all of the amazing things it enables me to do. How awesome is it that I will not always be stuck with my mistakes?? I mean, I've made some really bad choices in the past, and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity during this life to repent and choose to do something else with myself. Gah! I love it!
On another note, I got to help my big sister (who is actually smaller than me right now!) go wedding dress shopping yesterday, and it was so nice to just have girl time. We spent Friday evening at our cousin's wedding reception, and it was great to see some of our mom's family. Then we got some tasty Mexican food and watched TV, talked, and played with the baby until 3:00 AM. It was disappointing that her baby, Charlie, doesn't really like me, but at least her other two do! On Saturday we looked at David's Bridal dresses and mosied on over to the Women's Expo. We had so much fun! Trudi has turned into such an amazing woman, and I am so proud of her for who she has become. She is a great mom to her three little ones, and I can't wait for her to marry Jeff and live happily ever after, because that's exactly what she deserves.
It's been an excellent weekend, full of love, hope, and the promise of tomorrow. I am so grateful for my family! Even if they don't know it, I think they're the best. I am so grateful for all of the support and love I receive every day. I am a lucky girl!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Twenty-one days...
In three weeks, Joshy and I will be getting sealed in the Bountiful Temple. We've been married for two years, and we started dating almost three years ago... I am so excited and apprehensive about going to the temple, and I'm worried that I'm not able to give it as much thought as I would like to, since it's the end of the semester, and my 18 credits are giving me my money's worth of work right now. Between working at the preschool and school and homework, I am also planning my best friend Nina's baby shower and I'm trying to make time for my older sister Trudi as she is preparing for her wedding. I'm also trying to somehow fill my callings at church and keep up with my active puppy. I'm swamped, and I just wish I could have a few minutes to breathe and contemplate the huge commitment I am about to undertake. Plus, right now Josh is in training at Camp Williams, and I can sporadically see him when he doesn't have to be back super early in the morning. The next three weeks are all ready kicking my butt.
On another note, I can't believe it, but Josh is deploying way too soon. It is right around the corner, and the closer it sneaks up on me, the more terrified I become. I am not allowed to give out real dates, but let's just say it is happening.
I try to be okay with it and look at the bright side. I try to think about Hawaii and how much fun it will be.
I try not to think about the fact that I might lose him.
I try not to think about the time I'm going to have to pass without him.
I try not to be resentful that I have to put my life on hold for a year while all of my friends and family continue to progress with their lives.
I try to do those things, but right now I am failing miserably.
People tell you that nobody knows what it's like to have a deployed spouse until they have had a deployed spouse. People all think they know, because their husband has been away on business or is a workaholic or has other priorities than his home and family, but they don't understand the stress you feel when you know your husband is going to be in a position where there is a huge chance that he might die. They don't get it that you have no control over when you get to see him or even talk to him. I'm glad it's still a little way out, but it's hard to forget about it until then. I just wish I had more friends who knew what I'm going through right now. I read all of the magazines and try to take all of the advice I can get, but I am such a nervous wreck right now. I have no idea what to expect, and I'm just as worried about Josh as I am about myself.
Well, let's take a deep breath and get back to homework. Thank you for listening.
On another note, I can't believe it, but Josh is deploying way too soon. It is right around the corner, and the closer it sneaks up on me, the more terrified I become. I am not allowed to give out real dates, but let's just say it is happening.
I try to be okay with it and look at the bright side. I try to think about Hawaii and how much fun it will be.
I try not to think about the fact that I might lose him.
I try not to think about the time I'm going to have to pass without him.
I try not to be resentful that I have to put my life on hold for a year while all of my friends and family continue to progress with their lives.
I try to do those things, but right now I am failing miserably.
People tell you that nobody knows what it's like to have a deployed spouse until they have had a deployed spouse. People all think they know, because their husband has been away on business or is a workaholic or has other priorities than his home and family, but they don't understand the stress you feel when you know your husband is going to be in a position where there is a huge chance that he might die. They don't get it that you have no control over when you get to see him or even talk to him. I'm glad it's still a little way out, but it's hard to forget about it until then. I just wish I had more friends who knew what I'm going through right now. I read all of the magazines and try to take all of the advice I can get, but I am such a nervous wreck right now. I have no idea what to expect, and I'm just as worried about Josh as I am about myself.
Well, let's take a deep breath and get back to homework. Thank you for listening.
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