Getting Passionate about Life

Remember the days when you were young and naive? Remember the times you were reckless and passionate because the future was open and you could do anything? Remember the freedom of letting go and not being scared because you were giving life everything you had? I remember those days with a passionate curiosity that I've nearly forgotten. Those days really weren't that long ago. So why does it feel like something must have happened to kill that inner wild and free part of me? I think it's part of "growing up." And I hate it.

My favorite risks I have taken in life have been the ones that I took without knowing what the outcome would be. But in the moment of making the decision, I knew exactly what I wanted. Whether it was a person, a job, a home, or whatever, it was a choice that I would stand behind a million times more because I knew at the time that it was right, that it was everything I'd wanted, that I would do anything to make it happen. But making the initial decision isn't the way to make those risks worth it. The only way to make sure you keep living the life you want is by maintaining the same level of commitment and enthusiasm about your decision as you had when you first chose it.

Right now, my passion is having a family. The risk, of course, is getting pregnant. It's a decision I made years ago, and it's something I've been waiting to experience ever since. There have been many months of tears, many months of envying my friends and family, and many months of questioning "why not this time?" And I would be lying if I said that I never gave up. Because there were also many months of pretending that I didn't care and many months of saying that it didn't matter. But each month, with renewed vigor, I try again. And that's how I know this is something worthwhile. After two years of trying, I am still passionate about becoming a mother. I am still enthralled with the idea that one day I will be able to name my own baby and take it home from the hospital with me. One day, when I hold that baby, I won't have to give it back to its mother, because I will be its mother. And until that day, I am going to keep freaking trying. Because that is what life is about. The whole point of life is to have a family, in my opinion. If I get an awesome job one day, that would be cool. If I wrote a novel that sold out around the world, I would love that. But if none of that happens, if one day I'll still be able to have my own little baby, then this life would have been totally worth it.

Ten years ago, my passion was gymnastics. One day it turned into a boy who pretended to love me with the same intensity that I felt about him, and then he broke my heart. But not too long later, my passion was a man who stepped up and followed through on his promises. He kept me for his and will continue to have me through eternity. And one day, hopefully soon, we will add children to our home.

While we all have different passions in our lives, one thing remains the same: they exist. Even if you can't figure out what your passion is at this moment, you should think about it. Because I'll bet there is at least one thought that consumes your mind, one thought that keeps coming back to you. Once you find what you're passionate about, never let it go. This is the secret to happiness. This is the meaning of life. Following your dreams will never disappoint you, because even if you fail, you will never EVER wonder "what if?"

What are your passions? What's your dream? What is the one thing that you want with every piece of you? Comment and share. I'd love to hear it!

Bryn