Cancer Sucks

I'm writing this post with a heavy heart today. I know it's cliche, but it's true that you shouldn't be jealous of people because you have no idea what they're going through behind the scenes. I feel like I got a reality check big time today.

I've always been kind of jealous of one of my cousins. Haha, well, okay, several of my cousins. But one of my cousins has just always seemed really together. She was raised LDS and has always seemed to be doing the right things, and when she got married and pregnant, I was jealous about how easily it seemed to come to her. Not only does she have the whole family life down, but she had the chance to travel lots before marriage (which is still something I wish I got to do more). This cousin helped me out a lot when I was planning on going to Hawaii for my first time, and I loved all of the advice she had for me. She also helped put all of my wedding together.

Today, I found out that that same sweet cousin has been battling cancer. She announced on our family Facebook page today that she has been given about one more year with her husband and baby daughter. She is only expected to be on this earth for one more year with her family and friends, one more year to learn and laugh and love. By that point, the doctors expect the cancer to have taken over. And it makes me feel so unbelievably sad.

I haven't lost many people who have been close to me in my life. On Veteran's Day of 2011, my grandpa passed away, and in February of 2012 I also lost my granddad. But when an older person passes away, I guess I feel like they've lived a full life. They've had a chance to watch their children grow up. They've had a chance to follow their dreams and have mid-life crises and do all of the things they've wanted to do. But when someone young doesn't get the opportunity to live out his/her life, it's a tragedy.

I can't help but feel helpless now. How can anyone help, in a situation like this? What can be done? I want to do something, but I don't know what would help. I guess what I really want to say today is that I feel so bad that I was ever jealous. She's been battling something so hard, and I've been sitting here thinking she has life so easy. We really never know what people are going through until they tell us. We have no insight into their lives until they choose to give us a peek. I'm going to try not to jump to conclusions about how easy people must have it anymore. I never should have done that at all. If we all resolved to do that, couldn't we make this world a better place? Just a thought.

My cousin still has time on this earth, and I hope I get a chance to let her know how much I love her and value her friendship. It's hard to know what else to say. Maybe there's nothing else to say, except cancer sucks.