I have a confession to make, but I don't really want to. I feel like a big fat jerk for ever even thinking it. But I'm not perfect, and today I'm going to fully admit that. Anyway, here it goes.
Josh and I awoke around 9:30 this morning, enjoying the crisp white comforter warming us, still mulling over last night's dreams and the lingering feelings of sleepiness. We lazily snuggled each other and our furry child and played on our phones and rubbed each other's backs. We were mentally preparing to start packing and cleaning our house for our roadtrip. We were enjoying the rare occurrence of togetherness in the morning. And then Josh's phone rang.
Josh has become a detective in the last month, and he's been a busy bee ever since. It's been amazing on his schedule, but I still work shift work, meaning I still do not have an amazing schedule. That's been the frustrating part. So the fact that we were able to sleep in together was monumental. Meaning we definitely should have known better than to leave all of our packing and readying our home for the Saturday morning that he was supposed to have off.
Anyway, when Josh answered his phone and I overheard the word "echo" from the other end of the line, my heart sank. In cop lingo, echo means dead. If Josh was getting an "echo" phone call, that meant that he'd have to leave and take pictures. And be gone for hours. And have subsequent hours of paperwork. Sigh. He climbed out of bed and put on his uniform. He left in a hurry. And I was left with a feeling of dread.
I then knew that I would then be left with the responsibility of cleaning our entire house. I knew that I'd have to do all of the packing and cleaning out the car and throwing away all of our trash. I knew that I'd no longer have help, and I was sad for myself. I even put a bratty status up on the Facebook page for police wives where I whined about having to do all of the work by myself.
My confession is that, at no point during this entire discovery did I ever even care that someone had died. And for that, I apologize. Sometimes in this life where my husband deals with DUIs, car accidents, overdoses, random crimes, and dead bodies throughout the week, I forget that there are lives intertwined with this mix. Sometimes I forget that while I complain about Josh being gone for a few hours, people are grieving the loss of a person from their lives. I'm a jerk. My paradigm has shifted. I'll quit being such a complainer.
How often in this life do we forget about others in the pursuit of our own interests? How often do we forget about having empathy and understanding for others' situations? How often do we get stuck in the "poor me" state of mind where we're so near-sighted that we forget about how lucky we are? For me, it's far too often.
But now it's really time for me to go get ready. I've got a house to clean and a car to pack. It's a busy day, and I've got things to do. And I'm going to quit having a bad attitude about it, because at least I've got fun things to do and places to be. Today can still be a beautiful day!
xoxo,
B
Josh and I awoke around 9:30 this morning, enjoying the crisp white comforter warming us, still mulling over last night's dreams and the lingering feelings of sleepiness. We lazily snuggled each other and our furry child and played on our phones and rubbed each other's backs. We were mentally preparing to start packing and cleaning our house for our roadtrip. We were enjoying the rare occurrence of togetherness in the morning. And then Josh's phone rang.
Josh has become a detective in the last month, and he's been a busy bee ever since. It's been amazing on his schedule, but I still work shift work, meaning I still do not have an amazing schedule. That's been the frustrating part. So the fact that we were able to sleep in together was monumental. Meaning we definitely should have known better than to leave all of our packing and readying our home for the Saturday morning that he was supposed to have off.
Anyway, when Josh answered his phone and I overheard the word "echo" from the other end of the line, my heart sank. In cop lingo, echo means dead. If Josh was getting an "echo" phone call, that meant that he'd have to leave and take pictures. And be gone for hours. And have subsequent hours of paperwork. Sigh. He climbed out of bed and put on his uniform. He left in a hurry. And I was left with a feeling of dread.
I then knew that I would then be left with the responsibility of cleaning our entire house. I knew that I'd have to do all of the packing and cleaning out the car and throwing away all of our trash. I knew that I'd no longer have help, and I was sad for myself. I even put a bratty status up on the Facebook page for police wives where I whined about having to do all of the work by myself.
My confession is that, at no point during this entire discovery did I ever even care that someone had died. And for that, I apologize. Sometimes in this life where my husband deals with DUIs, car accidents, overdoses, random crimes, and dead bodies throughout the week, I forget that there are lives intertwined with this mix. Sometimes I forget that while I complain about Josh being gone for a few hours, people are grieving the loss of a person from their lives. I'm a jerk. My paradigm has shifted. I'll quit being such a complainer.
How often in this life do we forget about others in the pursuit of our own interests? How often do we forget about having empathy and understanding for others' situations? How often do we get stuck in the "poor me" state of mind where we're so near-sighted that we forget about how lucky we are? For me, it's far too often.
But now it's really time for me to go get ready. I've got a house to clean and a car to pack. It's a busy day, and I've got things to do. And I'm going to quit having a bad attitude about it, because at least I've got fun things to do and places to be. Today can still be a beautiful day!
xoxo,
B
1 comment:
And a wonderful husband to enjoy your road trip with. :)
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