Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Rest in Peace, Sweet Friend


When I moved in December, it was really hard on me. I'm now located almost an hour from my closest family member, I don't have money to do the things I like to do, and I've felt isolated and alone. It has also been a huge adjustment to move from the big city where I've been for the past eight years and go back to a small town.

Shortly after our move, I befriended the wives of a few of my husband's co-workers. These ladies were really nice to me, but they tended to gossip about pretty much everyone else. There was another co-worker's wife who I was explicitly told not to befriend because she was "creepy" and a "stalker." Well, what can I say? I'm a rebel.

A few weeks or months later (time kind of blurs when you're an adult), this "creepy" lady came to a girls' night out that I attended with some of the ladies in the town. And you know what? She was the friendliest out of all of the ladies there. She and I talked almost the whole time about all different kinds of things, and I really felt like we had a good relationship growing. We didn't exchange phone numbers, but I found her on Facebook not too long after, and I continued to be fond of her. She talked about more than the goings on of people in town. We talked about our pasts and how we both grew up in small towns, and how we've both adapted to being police officers' wives. We talked about hopes and dreams and the future. That night, I left with the distinct impression that I really liked this girl and that, against advice, we were going to be friends.

In April, I graduated college, and this girl sent me a sweet Facebook message congratulating me and saying that we really needed to go out some night to celebrate. I readily agreed, but we never got around to it. Life, as always, got in the way. Sometimes I wish it would just move over and let me actually live.

A few weeks ago, my mother was visiting and we went to watch my friend and her husband go skydiving. This was her husband's passion, and my friend had picked it up not too long before. She had quickly fallen in love with it, and she was training to jump on her own. I've always been too chicken to jump myself, but I thought my friend was so brave for learning how. My friend invited me to go hiking this summer with her and her adorable little boys. I love hiking, and I agreed that we should go. I really wish we had.

Yesterday, that beautiful, sweet, friendly girl passed away while skydiving with her husband. The more I learn about the accident, the worse it makes me feel. I wish we had gotten to do more together while my friend was here. I loved her genuine personality so much. I appreciated how friendly she was and how she always made me feel comfortable around her. I feel so sad for her family members left behind. I can't imagine what they're going through right now.

But you know what I don't feel bad about? I will never regret being friendly to that girl. I will never feel guilty for speaking too highly of her. I will never feel bad that I reached out and made a friend out of her. I wish we could have gotten to know each other better, but she was one of my favorite people here in my new town, and I'm really going to miss her. And I'm glad that I reached out and didn't listen when people told me not to be her friend. Because kindness always matters.

Friends, I know that there are people you're told not to like. I know that your "friends" have reasons to bully and talk badly about others. But if you're a leader and you make a friend out of that "creepy" girl who really isn't creepy at all, you'll never regret it. You never know what's going to happen to your friends or loved ones, so you might as well make the most of the time you have together. Reach out and be a friend to the ostracized. Be a companion to the lonely. Smile at the stranger. I have many things in my life that I regret, but one thing I never will is being kind to that sweet, smiling girl. Rest in peace, sweet friend.

1 comment:

Shella's Ramblings said...

I am sorry for your loss Bryn. I love that you befriended her even though people advised against it. I think people don't always know the whole story about a person. Enjoy reading your blog and reading your insight on fb.
Michelle