I have a big doctor's appointment on Wednesday, and I'm kind of freaking out.
Am I going to find out that I'm infertile?
Is my husband going to discover that he isn't producing enough swimmers?
Are we getting ourselves into years of expensive medical procedures?
What if the doctors can't find any problems and we're stuck back at square one? (That's my biggest fear right now, because that does happen.) Honestly, the lack of closure is what scares me the most right now. I can live with anything else... but I can't live without answers. I need to feel empowered about my reproductive health again.
I'm nervous about my relationship with my doctor. I haven't had a regular doctor in years, and the one I had as a child/teenager wasn't the greatest. I worry that I won't have an easy relationship with the doctor and that she and I won't be on the same page with my reproductive health and needs. I'm not super worried about this at the moment, but it is lingering at the back of my mind.
If we are infertile, I've always been supportive of adoptions. I almost adopted my niece a few years ago, and I would do it again in a heartbeat (for any child--not just my niece). If I find out that my husband and I won't be able to biologically parent children together, I'll be disappointed, but I will be glad to have closure. Unless you've been in my boat, it's impossible to know what kind of a stressor fertility problems can be. Closure is what I'm looking to get more than anything else right now. I mean, it'd be cool to get a baby too, but I'm open to the fact that my family may come together in a different way than I could have ever imagined.
I really hope that I'm going to find answers soon. I know that I'm only 24 and I'm young, but I've waited my entire life to be a mom, and I don't want to wait any longer than I have to.
Anyway, that's what's on my mind right now. I'm really excited for the closure that I hope this doctor's appointment will bring, and I hope that my fertility questions are answered quickly! I guess I will let the world know how Wednesday goes! And who knows? Maybe the doctor will tell me I'm already pregnant and just didn't know it (wouldn't that be great?)!
Am I going to find out that I'm infertile?
Is my husband going to discover that he isn't producing enough swimmers?
Are we getting ourselves into years of expensive medical procedures?
What if the doctors can't find any problems and we're stuck back at square one? (That's my biggest fear right now, because that does happen.) Honestly, the lack of closure is what scares me the most right now. I can live with anything else... but I can't live without answers. I need to feel empowered about my reproductive health again.
I'm nervous about my relationship with my doctor. I haven't had a regular doctor in years, and the one I had as a child/teenager wasn't the greatest. I worry that I won't have an easy relationship with the doctor and that she and I won't be on the same page with my reproductive health and needs. I'm not super worried about this at the moment, but it is lingering at the back of my mind.
If we are infertile, I've always been supportive of adoptions. I almost adopted my niece a few years ago, and I would do it again in a heartbeat (for any child--not just my niece). If I find out that my husband and I won't be able to biologically parent children together, I'll be disappointed, but I will be glad to have closure. Unless you've been in my boat, it's impossible to know what kind of a stressor fertility problems can be. Closure is what I'm looking to get more than anything else right now. I mean, it'd be cool to get a baby too, but I'm open to the fact that my family may come together in a different way than I could have ever imagined.
I really hope that I'm going to find answers soon. I know that I'm only 24 and I'm young, but I've waited my entire life to be a mom, and I don't want to wait any longer than I have to.
Anyway, that's what's on my mind right now. I'm really excited for the closure that I hope this doctor's appointment will bring, and I hope that my fertility questions are answered quickly! I guess I will let the world know how Wednesday goes! And who knows? Maybe the doctor will tell me I'm already pregnant and just didn't know it (wouldn't that be great?)!
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